Eyes. Hurtin.

"what makes you think you'll find that person in law sch"

Hmm. Very perceptive. Still don't have an answer to that. Very good, SML!

Oh, and Xiang said I looked like Slick today. Thanks to the glasses, hair, shirt, pants, tie. Why do I seem to keep collecting nicknames...

It's becoming easier and easier to stay back late in school with no desire to head home.

Disjointed thoughts due to lack of sleep. Maybe I should do something bout that.

(a few days later)

Actually took the bother to edit this post and add an image of Slick. No, I don't know why either, I don't even know what kind of readership this blog commands. Werd.

Still tired, gonna do something about that right now.

Update.

Busy with the research binder thing, falling behind on contracts, never had a clue about SLS to begin with. Torts is semi-ok if only because the tutorial isn't for a few days yet. Tired. No motivation. In other words, business as usual.

Can't wait for the end of exams.

Keep reminding myself that there's so much more to life than just schoolwork.

But when I'm not doing anything in the middle of the night, I find myself thinking too much. Keeping busy helps to block out the thoughts.

Gonna run again tonight. It helps to work off the frustration.

Heh, ironic, in a lecture about contractual frustration at the moment. Okay, so I never ever listen to contract lectures anyway, so this is probably the closest I've ever come to focusing on a lecture. Yay!

That research project thing...

Perspective:

LAWR research project = 25% * 4 credits = 1 credit
Torts midterm mini-test: 15% * 8 credits = 1.2 credits
Torts end-of-term test: 75% * 8 credits = 6 credits (!!!)

So, if we're supposed to spend time on work proportionate to the amount of grades we're getting...oops, is it just me, or are we putting in wa-ay too much time into what amounts to a single credit when the big big torts test in November is worth 6, yes 6 credits?

But everyone in my LAWR class is so smart and hardworking and motivated and so there's the impetus to keep up. Oh wells, will just treat this like the learning experience that it's supposed to be. Plus, we'll be doing mooting and stuff on this so the effort has to come sooner or later, so might as well.

Back to work! Grindgrindgrind.


Oh yes. Atomship rocks. Especially Withered.

Because it’s two in the morning and I’m feeling so ugly.
I’ve got this chip on my shoulder, keep my eyes spread wide open

If you’d let me go.
Then I’d walk myself into the room, yes I will.
Then I’d lay right down and daydream of you, yes I will.
With this soul tell smile I’ll blow a kiss to you, yes I will.
Then I’d lay right down and daydream of you.

Of midnight runs and answered prayers...

There's something about running alone in the middle of the night that just gives clarity and vision. Frustration and unanswered questions just give way to peace of mind and resolution. Seems to me that things are always simple - we people are the ones who make them complicated. And I'm thankful for this sense of perspective, to see things in the proper light, and to just make sense of it all.

Sitting outside in the cool night air and thinking about the mystery of life. Just chillin in the still of the night. Savour the moment while it lasts. Solitude has its pleasures, after all.

Companionship is important to me as well. But there's a time and place for everything, and this is the time for the solace of silent introspection.

And whatever the world throws at me, it's these moments of silence that remind me of who I am. Where I'm from. And where I'm going. My background and my roots, as well as my future and my goals.

My identity.

The Plan!

1. Cancel (or try to cancel) going for the Freshman dinner thing tomorrow night.
2. Research through Friday afternoon.
3. Research into Friday night.
4. Research through Saturday morning.
5. Afternoon too!
6. Hopefully not night.
7. Sunday. Church.
8. Go out.
9. More research work.
10. And then the morning comes. And a new week begins. More research.

No more slacking, no more bullshit - things get serious now. Time to roll!

"One small step..."

Went to church last Sunday for the first time in...2 years? Maybe more? About there. And I can't say that there was a great overwhelming revival within, but somehow...it felt right. To stop the excuses, to take this step back towards a truly Christian life. And I thank God for my friends, for my VFC cell group, for the fellow Christians around me. Everyone who has been with me, encouraged me, and given me strength to keep working at my relationship with God. The people who I've been accountable to, the people who have invited me to their churches, the people who have just been my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Thank you, everybody.

In other news! Met Jennifer at Rebecca's church (CEFC), who happens to be Jireh's roommate in Warwick, as well as Fong's cousin! Singapore is indeed really too small... School's alright, probably doing less work than I should but I don't really care...for now. We'll see once the torts test/memo rewrite comes back. Cell group today was good - again, I'm so thankful for this fellowship. Spent like an hour in the library doing what the LAWR tutors consider "fun" - running around digging out obscure volumes to fill in some "treasure hunt" thing. Yay! So fun!

Gonna go do SLS or something now - I suspect it'd be a rather bad idea to turn up for that Tracey guy's first lecture unprepared...

Oh right, insane link of the day - this is disturbing.

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do think of me and I've peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

In other news, blogsurfing can lead to some VERY unwelcome revelations. Argh! Sometimes you just don't see things even when they're right in front of you...

Save the Environment!

I wish I could dance like that.

A New Beginning

Incubus - Drive

Sometimes, I feel the fear of
uncertainty stinging clear.
And I can't help but ask
myself how much I'll let the
fear take the wheel
and steer.

It's driven me before, and it seems to
have a vague, haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find that
I should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
with open arms and open eyes.

So, if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of
the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own
and drive?

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
that everyone else gets
around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that
when I drive myself
my light is found.

So whatever tomorrow
brings, I'll be there
with open arms and
open eyes.