Tired.
Current music: The Beach Boys
Ok, so I'm not really physically tired, but it's just a bunch of different things all hovering in my conciousness. And it's all mixed-up and messy and I don't see any resolution or closure to any of these things, and so they will just continue to remain in my mind, only surfacing in moments of silence. Haunting me in my solitude. Like now.
Sometimes, I go out for supper not just because I enjoy the company of my friends. It's also because I'm overly contemplative when I'm alone in the middle of the night. That's why I go for midnight drives in the absence of company. That's why I play dota into the wee hours. That's why I blast the music out loud and settle down with a good book until sleep overcomes me. Anything to keep the thoughts at bay, to keep them from overwhelming me. All the ifs and whys and hows and whens. All the memories. All the good times, the bad times. The right moves and the mistakes. The sum of my past experiences, and the uncertainty of the future.
Sometimes, I just want to silence to cacophony of thoughts and memories in my head.
Abang is relaked...on the surface. Deep down, abang is always thinking. And abang is not sure if he's truly relaked, or if it's just a facade. And even if he's truly relaked, abang is not sure if that's the way to go about doing things.
Y'all can wait until my next entry if (gasp) interested in what's been going on in my life.
Ok, so I'm not really physically tired, but it's just a bunch of different things all hovering in my conciousness. And it's all mixed-up and messy and I don't see any resolution or closure to any of these things, and so they will just continue to remain in my mind, only surfacing in moments of silence. Haunting me in my solitude. Like now.
Sometimes, I go out for supper not just because I enjoy the company of my friends. It's also because I'm overly contemplative when I'm alone in the middle of the night. That's why I go for midnight drives in the absence of company. That's why I play dota into the wee hours. That's why I blast the music out loud and settle down with a good book until sleep overcomes me. Anything to keep the thoughts at bay, to keep them from overwhelming me. All the ifs and whys and hows and whens. All the memories. All the good times, the bad times. The right moves and the mistakes. The sum of my past experiences, and the uncertainty of the future.
Sometimes, I just want to silence to cacophony of thoughts and memories in my head.
Abang is relaked...on the surface. Deep down, abang is always thinking. And abang is not sure if he's truly relaked, or if it's just a facade. And even if he's truly relaked, abang is not sure if that's the way to go about doing things.
Y'all can wait until my next entry if (gasp) interested in what's been going on in my life.
posted by khel at 10:28 PM
2 Comments:
in this life, this abang is always thinking too. but like them Scousers say, you never walk alone.
Always got someone for the ride bro. :)
im like you too
thats why i try to sleep as early as possible before late night contemplation kicks in
hurhur :P
and im always available for a quiet ride too :p (im not a good conversationalist la)
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