Insight.
Was hanging out at Peiyu's place on Saturday night, watching dumb movies, drinking, and just generally hanging out with the guys. Somehow or other the conversation topic switched to relationships. So, I remembered what Pet and Rui said before (separately) about how a relationship will only hit you when you're not looking and expecting one. And voiced that out. But as I was telling the guys the theory, the exact reasoning hit me in an inspired moment.
When people are actively looking for a relationship, they're looking for a person who fits their expections. However, chances are, the person they're looking for with all these qualities is merely an unattainable ideal. So they stress themselves out and try too hard to find this person. When they find a person who might vaguely satisfy some of these qualities, they begin to hope, and even expect this person to be the ideal they've been looking for.
The problem is that this person very probably cannot meet them all these heightened expectations. This leads to a disproportionate relationship, with one party expecting too much out of the another due to pre-conceived notions of what the relationship should be. And it cannot last - sooner or later they'll realise that the other party cannot live up to this ideal.
The solution? Relax, my friends. Pointless to stress over this. If we just go through life with our eyes open, without unreasonable expectations, eventually possibilities will appear. All we gotta do...is to keep on walking.
When people are actively looking for a relationship, they're looking for a person who fits their expections. However, chances are, the person they're looking for with all these qualities is merely an unattainable ideal. So they stress themselves out and try too hard to find this person. When they find a person who might vaguely satisfy some of these qualities, they begin to hope, and even expect this person to be the ideal they've been looking for.
The problem is that this person very probably cannot meet them all these heightened expectations. This leads to a disproportionate relationship, with one party expecting too much out of the another due to pre-conceived notions of what the relationship should be. And it cannot last - sooner or later they'll realise that the other party cannot live up to this ideal.
The solution? Relax, my friends. Pointless to stress over this. If we just go through life with our eyes open, without unreasonable expectations, eventually possibilities will appear. All we gotta do...is to keep on walking.
posted by khel at 12:12 AM
1 Comments:
Wonderful insight, my friend! My take is that a relationship is not just about enjoying each other's strengths, but living with and working through each other's weaknesses as well. And you know, sometimes when Love hits, the person may be nothing like the person you envisioned your perfect mate to be!
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